I enjoy a good boat trip. Now, when I say boat trip, I mean actually going somewhere and seeing something on a boat. I went whale watching in Tenerife (and actually saw some), went to view caves in Portugal that were amazing and have even been fishing in Cornwall – very choppy and scary but an adventure. I will go on a boat at any time, to go anywhere to see any thing that cannot be seen on dry land.

Never again will I go on a party boat.

6 hours on a boat with alcohol, loud music and people I don’t know (fun fact: I’m bad at talking to people).

I was feeling ok, chilling on a bean bag with bottles of water because I’m not into drinking too much at the moment. Sun lotion on, catching some rays. When all of a sudden I felt the familiar twinges of a headache, by this stage I had had a bit of alcohol – some nasty grapefruit cocktail shit in a water bottle. I tried downing more water but the headache just took hold of me. Pretty soon I was barely halfway through the trip (which was actually just boating close enough to a beach that you could see people, but not close enough to make it to land and go the hell home) I had a full blown migraine, the effects of the sea were taking it’s toll on me and I was miserable.

I tried to get comfortable in various places, but when I found a quiet enough spot, people just seemed to swarm near me – the music got turned up louder and I couldn’t escape noise. My hero’s were the people running the boat, a woman and man who did anything I wanted – they got me an ice cold towel for my head, a plastic bag to be sick in and the woman kept checking on me every ten minutes or so and getting me water.

Now, my mum goes by the motto that everything happens for a reason. And I believe fate kicked in yesterday. Whilst I was sat at the back of the boat on the way back, my lady came over to stand by me and chat, all the other people had gone to the front of the boat to document themselves having awesome fun. As lady looks out to see she says ‘Oh my God, look!’. And there in the sea, quite a distance from the boat, is one of the ‘revellers’, he’d either jumped ship or got thrown in due to being drunk and unsteady, he was literally swimming for his life. If I had gone to get my picture taken, there is a chance he’d never been seen, because the woman would have had no reason to gaze out the back of the boat.

Anyway, she managed to get the captain to stop the boat, and turn it around. Still, no body else had noticed that this had happened except for me and the crew. The guy got back on deck and nearly fell over a few times because he must have been exhausted and probably had just seen his life flash before his eyes.

I hated being THAT girl on the boat, the one with the towel on her head, sat alone with a bottle of water. I’m thankful for the people who helped me out, the girl who asked various people for painkillers for me, the girl who must have seen me in pain and brought my a bottle of water and the few people who asked me if I was ok. I wish I’d have gotten chance to talk to those people more.

And, I’m thankful to Paul for putting me through the ordeal. I know it’s something I never want to do ever again and if I hadn’t done it I would have spent the next few months wishing I had.. probably. He looked after me when we got home and put up with my being sick all night.

At least I can cross ‘Pirate’ off my list of career choices.

2 thoughts on “I AM NO PIRATE

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