There’s just over a week until we fly back to England for Christmas. The Hong Kong weather seems to be trying to ease us gently into the freezing temperatures we’ll be facing as it’s currently a chilling 16 degrees. It’s grey and drizzly and, well, just like an English summer.
I’ve been looking forward to going home for Christmas since I landed here back in August. To say I felt homesick is probably a bit of an understatement, I was literally sick, couldn’t sleep and you could probably say I resented Hong Kong a little bit. I blame the jet lag and the additional hormones I was providing my body with. If you were to ask Paul he’d probably say I was pretty difficult to live with in the first month or so. I mean, it’s understandable that I’d be homesick and take a little while to adjust to a new country, but I compare myself to other people a lot, and comparing myself to how Paul was when he arrived here, well I felt like I was failing at relocating and that I didn’t belong here. It appeared to be really smooth and effortless for him, however he had a lot to throw himself in to, I was spending a lot of time alone discovering my new home and was apprehensive about making friends.
I don’t know what happened, or what transformation my brain and attitude have gone through, but just a few months later I’m still looking forward to going home but I’m already looking forward to coming back to our new home. I went into this pretty ignorantly, I didn’t listen to other peoples advice of ‘trying out’ Hong Kong by keeping my job in England and just holidaying here for a couple of weeks to see if I like it. I threw myself into the move fully and, looking back, I’m so glad I did that, you can’t get a real feel for a country in two weeks or even a month, and I don’t like to think of what would have happened if I’d listened to those people.. I can only assume I wouldn’t be sat here now with months of memories under my belt and a strong relationship that I learn more and more from every day.
I haven’t done a great deal of documenting my ‘personal feelings’ on this blog since I came here because.. I guess I didn’t want many people to know that I was struggling at first. But, I realise we tend to forget a lot of memories as we get older and I wanted to remember the ‘journey’ I’ve been on in the last four months. God, rereading all this I sound like a gap year student hippy who has been digging holes in the desert for two months. If I ever say, write or even think the sentence ‘Wow I’ve been away for four months yet EVERYTHING is still exactly the same’ whilst I’m back in England please slap me. Hard.
I’m finding it hard to put into words, but I don’t want my memories to just be random events and days out that we attended. I want to remember more of the feelings and emotions. I don’t want it to look like this has all been one big happy long holiday, because it really hasn’t. I want to remember the hard times so I can enjoy the good times even better. Sounding like a philosophy gap year student now.
In summary, I felt bad, I wanted to go home, I started feeling better. I should have just wrote that.
I’m glad that I’ve had the chance to make this place my home and I’ve fully fallen in love with it.