Last night I tossed and turned, wide awake unable to sleep as I was filled with nerves and anticipation for my first day of work. It must have transferred on to Paul as we both ended up sat up and watching football until 1am. When you can’t sleep, lying in bed trying to force it is usually the worst thing you can do, shortly after we both finally went to bed I found myself drifting off quite easily. I woke up early and the nerves had returned, when Paul left for work I got up and got ready having a nightmare doing my hair and makeup and changing my pants at the last minute (quiet down, it was because they didn’t suit my top, I wasn’t THAT nervous). I got to work a full half hour earlier than necessary so spent 20 minutes in Starbucks staring at my phone and sipping my coconut water until I finally decided on a time that was good impression early but not ‘why the hell are you so early’ early – 9.50 – but, by 10.20 I was done for the day. With a handful of paperwork to fill in and instructions to return back for training on Wednesday.

Like usual, I’d worried my socks off for nothing. I’d fretted and fidgeted and my stomach had churned and there was no reason for it. There’s no doubt that tomorrow night I’ll be feeling similar, despite the fact that I’m now pondering what if something bad actually happens on Wednesday, will I think ‘Oh, well it’s a good job I was worrying about that, I feel very prepared for this situation.’ I highly doubt it.

On my way home, after my very short first day, I instantly felt annoyed. What was the point in my going there? What a waste of time! What a waste of time indeed, I’m currently sat on the couch in my pyjama shorts, I’ve just eaten a banana and watched a ten minute infomercial about a blender and I’m worried going to my new job for half an hour is a waste of my time. I’m filing this one under ‘Hormonal and over-thinking things’ because I think that’s what happened today. After a month of waiting for this job to start my first day was an anti-climax and I guess it’s ok to be a bit upset about that.

So this is me looking on the bright side and coaxing myself out of my little moody shell.
I’m home in my comfies with the rest of the day to entertain myself.
Monday is done with, I’m currently part time so my next day is Wednesday and then we’ll be halfway through the week.
Technically, I shouldn’t have any more first day jitters despite the fact I still have to meet all my co-workers (which is actually quite exciting!)
Monday is done with. I feel that deserves a second mention.

I’ve managed to cheer myself up enough to make a little image to go with this post, I usually Google them but making one is a good form of procrastination.


The image and the badly aligned text have nothing in common whatsoever. But it’s text on an image with a filter applied to so it’s fine.

Happy Monday everyone.

5 thoughts on “I’M WORRIED THAT I’M A WORRIER.

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